La Capra

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Posts by La Capra

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  14

  Some advise for a stranger to JWs

  by Llama in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  yeah, i'm a different thinker, floating between budhist and spiritualist ideas, and jw seems so rigid to me, i was quite shocked to read up on it.

  unfortunately i have a question for you which i am dreading to ask, as i suspect the answer wont be one i wish to hear.. i have recently fallen for a girl, she is, well her parents are strictly jw as far as i understand, she follows this but has not been baptised yet.

  i know she really likes me too, but i am not a witness, and i doubt i ever could be.

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  La Capra

  Llama, If she has not been baptized and she is 22, then she does not have the choices of people to be with that you may think. First of all, since she is unbaptized, she is unsuitable dating material for any of the men in the congregations. They would either know this status or check this status with the congregation before asking her to go out in service with them. Also 22 is pretty old with JWs not to be married yet. Because she is not yet baptized, she probably isn't committed to it-but still heavily conflicted about it- which was why she was so upset telling you about it. She is a BAD JW, driving to see you on weekends, and speaking to you on the phone. She is living a very compartmentalized personal life-very dangerous and unhealthy. You very well may be her only "friend" in or out of the religion, since at her age, unbaptized, she is probably treated as a "sub-member". Perhaps you wish to save her from this cult-a noble thing, for sure-gently making her aware of her sub-status, inner conflict and her real hopes of "finding true love" in the religion would probably go farther than any other thing. But be aware that she may lose her entire family (except her brother) if they are all JWs-but maybe not. It was a person who was Buddhist who was able to get me to see the inconsequentiality of the JWs (or any religion) as far as having true spirituality and faith are concerned. Can't format-still, Shoshana
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  44

  I went to see my mom after 4 years, now I am sadder

  by orangefatcat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  last evening i recieved an e-mail from my aunt who is not a jw, and she told me that my mom was taken to the hospital with a serious bowel obstruction.

  my aunt knowing our family sitution felt it would be a good time to see what your mom would do.

  so i called my sister who lives not to far from me.

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  La Capra

  Hey Fat Cat, you were so brave to go see your mother, knowing what reaction you could have gotten. As I read your post, I felt that there is some hope there. Your mother began to talk to you, and started opening up. This must have been the second hardest thing she has ever done (shunning you being the first). If you can bear the discomfort and keep contact with her, she may begin to feel more comfortable exercising "her conscious" and having a relationship with you. It could be uncomfortable for a bit, but it might be worth it to try for just a bit, see if things can change for the better. My mom keeps hers with me, and has no fear of reprisals in the congregation, and doesn't try to hide the fact that she does see me. Your mother would NEVER get the boot for visiting her son. Shoshana
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  9

  Are You Intuitive?

  by darkuncle29 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  have any here had experiences they'd be willing to share?.

  do you have a sense of intuition?

  or is it more of a 'hit or miss' thing for you?.

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  La Capra

  I score high on intuition on the Myers-Briggs test too. But I think intuition is about what I call "full body observation" rather than noticing just what is INTENDED to be heard or seen. I am always getting to the bottom of things that other people would have no clue where to start. It drives my students nuts. AND, while I don't know how I did on the rest of the exam in Evidence I took last Thursday night, something about the WAY the professor had mentioned knowing when California Rules were different than Federal Rules in evidence got me thinking that there would be something SIGNIFICANT in each of the essays. In studying, I found two "issues" that had lots of rules to them, with a slight twist of difference, and made sure I had my "rules" down. They were both on the test, one on each essay (among other things, but at least I looked really smart on those!), just as I had gambled they would be. Shoshana
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  17

  Baptisms at the Sydney International Convention.

  by BLISSISIGNORANCE in

  1. social
  2. current

  ok......................60,000 attended the convention at the olympic stadium and all the news reports here in oz say there were 500 baptised.

  images on the news showing young and old getting dunked gave me the horrors.

  i just couldn't help but wonder how many pedophiles and sexual abuse victims were there pretending to be righteouss and happy.

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  La Capra

  500 out of 60,000....I don't think the number is proportionally high, but low, rather. If a typical circuit assembly or assembly day had an attendance of 1200, the number of baptisms would be ten. When I was a kid, circuit assemblies were about 1000 and the baptisms were generally from 20-30-enough to fill five or six rows in Yuba City (in the late 70s and early 80s). 500 just sounds big, because it is big, but not when you compare it to 60,000. It's less than 1 percent. I can't help it, when there is math to be done, I do it, damn it. Shoshana (the math teacher, soon to be lawyer)
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  1

  Phew (#1)

  by La Capra in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just finished my first exam this round of midterms: evidence.

  all i can say is i am glad that it's only 25% of my course grade....1 down, 2 to go.

  shoshana

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  La Capra

  I just finished my first exam this round of midterms: Evidence. All I can say is I am glad that it's only 25% of my course grade....1 down, 2 to go. Shoshana
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  60

  No-Blood Card No Longer Issued/Dated Annually

  by AMNESIAN in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  december 2003 our kingdom ministry for the usa

  "provisions to help us abstain from blood"

  "baptized publishers who have previously completed an advance medical directive/release card or identity card with no print date or a 3/99 print date will not need to complete a new one this year.

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  La Capra

  Perhaps they don't want to waste money printing more, want to use up the ones they have, because in the foreseeable future they are going to tank the whole blood doctrine, and it's evil pharasitical progeny of convoluted components and combinations. I even think I know what "new light" they are suddenly going to see..... This one so reminds me of Animal Farm "Four legs good, two legs bad..." which eventually morphed to "Four legs good, two legs better..." Here's to their saving a buck! Shoshana
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  8

  Your Friends in the JWs versus Your Friends Now....

  by Sirona in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  think of your friends in the jws and think of your friends now.

  how do they compare?

  think of loyalty, trust, being there for you.

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  La Capra

  One JW friend talked to me even more when I DA'd, until he figured out I wasn't going to fornicate with him just because I was out. None of the other JWs that I considered my friends maintained their friendships. Amazingly NONE of my non-JW friends shunned at all when I quit. Weird? Shoshana
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  17

  Profitable preaching

  by MegaDude in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the last church i attended is probably one of the largest in the so-called bible belt in the southern united states.

  i enjoyed attending there for a number of reasons: relaxed attitude, no dress code, the music was superb, and i always felt uplifted after i went.

  one of the classes you take prior to membership is about tithing where they tell you it is expected you will give 10 percent of your gross income.

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  La Capra

  I think the salary for clergy should depend on a number of factors, including the size of a congregation, and what the additional duties are besides the "preaching." But the salary should be comparable to what a teacher with similar training and experience makes in the area. Most Church organizations require that their clergy be properly trained in a broad area, from doctrine to pshychology to business management. These folks likely have invested a fortune in their educations (because those seminaries are not cheap), they are entitled to a decent livelihood. Of course some clergy are the "ceo" of the local congregation, and if the local congregation is quite large, with lots of community functions and activities that must be overseen, then the job becomes harder and harder, and centered around management and business. If the reason a church is raking in the bucks is due to the preacher, and that is what the preacher has demanded, then good for them. I have always said that if people are willing to pay for it, then who am I to complain. If I don't want to pay for it, then I won't. Both the rabbis in my area live in beautiful homes in very nice neighborhoods and I know that they own (maybe not outright). They both have spouses with excellent salaries also. By the way, my congregation suggests (not requires) a percentage much lower than 10%, and it is based on net, not gross. Shoshana
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  22

  This is a very strange question, but I have to ask...

  by Country Girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what is the jw stance on having relations with one's wife while she is having her menstrual period?

  one of them told me that because there is "blood" it is against god's law, although i never heard that before.

  cg

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  La Capra

  If you are really interested in this topic, I would recommend researching "sex and marriage" in terms of Orthodox Judaism. I can't format paragraphs, so if I posted a bit of a treatise on it here, most wouldn't read it. Most of the reserach I read relates this to the woman "touching death" due to the potential for life that was lost. Anyone who had contact with dead people also suffered this "cutting off" but it was cured by proper bathing (called the mikveh). The tradition of the mikveh is quite fascinating and still practiced by most practicing orthodox couples, many consevative couples and lately more and more reform jews are reinstating this practice into their marriages. Shoshana
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  44

  My wife stole my books!!!!

  by dmouse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had an interesting conversation with a jw last week, who insisted that she was not 'brainwashed' and would be prepared to look at any evidence i had that the 'truth' was not the one true truth.. so i went to my book cupboard to get my copies of 'crisis of conscience' and 'signs of the last days - when?

  ' in order to lend them to her.. and they are gone!!!!

  i am absolutely certain they were there only a few weeks ago.. i can only assume that my jw wife (whom i'm not on the best of terms with) has taken them.

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  La Capra

  And get to the solicitor, post haste. And pay to consult with the top three or five, this knocks them out of eligibility to represent your wife. Your colleagues/employment organizations can probably recommend the best. But don't move out, don't even go away for even one night. On her next meeting night, just go to bed early, and when she comes home, and gets pissed tell her it's her night in the dining room, and refuse to move. Don't stop paying the bills (yet) it will all come out in the asset assessment and you'll just look like a jerk. Let her take on that role. Try not to do anything retaliatory, so that neither of you cross the line. Hang in there dude, this WILL NOT last forever, once you take action it will sort itself out. You won't get everyting you want, but take heart in knowing she won't either. (And you don't ever have to grant her a scriptural divorce, now do you?). Shoshana